Murphy, I hate you.

Being a Political Science undergrad means I have to write a tonne of papers, being a History minor doesn’t help. Once in a while when I’m not being raped by school work I like to drink myself silly. Binge drinking is awesome after writing a 5000 word essay on Anwar Sadat.

On this particular night my “girlfriend” Elaine (girlfriend because I don’t know a nice term for whore) had too much work to do, so I got drunk without her. Later that night I found myself downtown and plastered. The club was nearly empty, but I somehow ended up dancing with the ---hiccup---hottest (hottest or most inhibited-S.C) girl in the place. Like horny little bunny rabbits we scurried home to my dorm room.

I was being ---hiccup---charming and was holding my alcohol reasonably well. Somehow I gave her a piggy back ride up to my room on the fourth floor, she was half passed out and nibbling on my ear. I threw open my door………..and Elaine was asleep on my bed in her underwear. Someone opted to take that moment to blow an air horn outside.

Elaine: Who’s that?
Me: A friend. You look really tired, you ssssshould get some ssssleeep in your bed.
Elaine: Get off of him you little whore! Wait, Molly?
Molly: Uh? What’sssss going on?
Elaine: You went out and dragged off my best friend! How the hell did you think you were going to get away with this?
Me: I….er…..uh…er (Molly got off of my back and went and hugged Elaine)
Molly: It’ssss been a long time ssssince I talked to you.
Elaine: We talk every night on the phone.
Molly: Long time…
Elaine: I think you should slap him.
Molly: But he’ssss sssso cute!

And that’s how Murphy screwed me over, not only was I going to get some anyway if I had not dragged someone off, but I ended with nothing but a hand print on my face and puke on my floor. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong ....or.... maybe it's Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.